Caveat fuckin’ Empor

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So far, I’ve had pretty good luck on purchasing things on Kijiji/Craigslist. Granted, sometimes I end up paying more than I should, and there’s always the concern about an item being defective, or its advertisement dishonestly described.

My cell phone was stolen, as I left it somewhere unattended, and I was hunting for a replacement one. As I was still under contract and not made of money, to Kijiji I went. Scrolling through the listings, I found one that was the same model, and for a decent price. We arranged for a time to meet.

When I met the guy, he was awkward and elusive with his answers. I did my best to inspect the phone, but for the most part, it was wiped clean and seemed good to go. Payment made, and he scurried off in a hurry. Odd, I thought.

Turns out the phone was far from clean.

Buddy was using some sort of modified operating system (which did involve some complicated rolling back, but that’s irrelevant) and turns out his formatting didn’t scrub clean those hard-to-reach places.

As I scrolled through, I found porn. Ew, but whatever, that makes some sense. Dudes like naked chicks, oftentimes.

And then I found the women’s underwear.

Seems like our purveyor of phones enjoys carefully placing lacy underwear in a bathroom sink, and masturbating onto the fabric.

While phoning himself. I found video after video of him doing this.

I then yelped, and began to dunk my phone in hand sanitizer for hours, but could not wash off the dirt ON MY SOUL.

So uh, caveat empor.

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